I recently picked up a new vintage T shirt. Surprise, surprise. I suppose for those of you who don’t now me on a personal level, it would be a surprise. So lets just say it’s very on-brand for me. Seeing @thewonderfulflight post on their Instagram story one Sunday, that their “£10 pound rail was back”, I felt it only right to check it out. Having picked up about 15 or so vintage t shirts from this closing down sale in Middlesbrough only the day before, I most likely should have skipped his opportunity however I could not resist. I justified it to myself as a pre-gym pitstop, nothing more, nothing less.

I arrived about 20 minutes later, taking a leisurely commute on my trusty Raleigh Road bike, as it was a pleasant summers day. Seeing the rail outside, I confirmed with guy working the shop that it was in fact the £10 section. I scoured the rails and eventually found two t shirts I was fond of. One of them was this pale-yellow t shirt with this cool stick figure graphic in which the faces were monochromatic. Very hip. The other one which I slightly preferred was a very light-pink t shirt with a wholesome, lettering graphic on the front. “Coolest Grandpa in the World” it read. Or at least that’s what I thought it read. I’m all for ironic t shirt’s, and whilst I am pretty sure that I am not a grandpa, I thought it would be a whimsical thought for anyone reading the t shirt to have. Trying them both on, I confirmed I looked Andre 3 stacks and headed to the counter to purchase them.

One sweaty gym session later and I was headed to my friends for a takeaway. The meal was wolfed down in no time at all as I had built up quite the appetite. Eventually the fact that I had gone and purchased yet again more vintage t shirts had become the talking point. “ahh here we go, what did you get this time?” asked my mate, rolling his eyes back.

“Nah trust these are actually too cool” I replied, unzipping my bag, getting ready to show them. I prewarned them as I knew it wouldn’t be their cup of tea to begin with, letting them know I was in fact now certified as “The Coolest Grandpa in the World”. Holding the t shirt up so they could both read it, one of them shouted. “You know it says Coolest Grandma,not Coolest Grandpa”. My face dropped. They started howling. “No it doesn’t” I said in disbelief. I was in fact wrong. At this point the slightly pink colour of the t shirt made a whole lot more sense. Was the irony of the slogan stretched too far? I wondered. It had gone from faintly unbelievable, to unrealistic. A rather large difference if you ask me. Was I going to get approached by those rabid street interviewers asking me for my pronouns? I better start practising my “they/them” response asap in that case. The t shirt was still wholesome and now tapped into a feminist vibe which I was most evidently here for. I loved my grandma too; she was quite the character and am sure she would have appreciated me wearing this t.

I now sit here typing this out in the exact pro-Grandma t shirt that I have been describing. I have accidently slept in it and have worn it on my train commute back home. I feel like I have fully embraced the t shirt and it has embraced me back. It’s a work in progress but I think we’ll get there with persistence and gratitude. Luckily, I didn’t bump into any interviews on the journey home, although I did see a few people staring at my torso area. I was ready to put down my copy of Jack Keroauc’s On the Road, blurting out the pronouns I had practiced earlier. Apologies, I am just being silly at this point but the point still stands, this is most definitely my favourite t shirt at the moment.